I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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