Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
