she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
