How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
