She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
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