Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
