Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
