i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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