I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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