96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize