It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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