Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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