I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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