If i could tip my vagina, i would.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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