my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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