Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Randomize
