I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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