I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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