Porn is love you can see.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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