He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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