$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gift wrapped bread.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Randomize