just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
