she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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