I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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