i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
