quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
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Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
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Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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