Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
