he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
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no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
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I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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