His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
