At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize