benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
