Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
