"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
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