If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?