Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
