she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
