But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize