does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
