so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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