is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
A bitchslap is in order.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
