What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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