hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
