I bet he comes in French.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
now i know why i became what i already was.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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