better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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