It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
