could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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