I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize