Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
