it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
