Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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