Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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