you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
