even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize