Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
