The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.