first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
barbara walters just said penis...
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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