Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
