to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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