hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
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I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
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You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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