I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
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I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
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And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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