Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
