he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
