some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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