Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize